Laughter is a gift. It can relieve stress, soothe tension, and improve your mood and help heal. I hope at least one of these stories does that for you today. . .
1) Penguins
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
The penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
They are very committed to their family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle will dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave
And then they sing:
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
2) Old lady driving slowly
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-Two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.
The police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”
3) Purina dog food
There was a man in line at Costco, waiting to checkout, with 2 very large bags of Purina dog chow. A woman behind him asked if he had a dog. He wanted to give a smart answer:
“No, we have a pet elephant. We call him Tiny. This is his breakfast.”
But he was raised not to be rude. however, he did think he could mess with her a little. . . So he said
“No, I don’t have a dog, I’m starting the Purina Diet again. I did it before and lost 30 pounds. I ended up in the hospital with tubes coming out of me, and multiple IVs, but first I lost 30 pounds.”
“It’s really easy, you just fill your pockets with this stuff and any time you’re hungry you pull out some to nibble on. It has all the nutrition you need, you don’t eat anything else and you lose weight.”
At this point the other people around them are trying not to laugh, they know this can’t be real. But the lady is mesmerized by the story. She’s staring at him and said,
“Wow. 30 pounds. Wait – you said you ended up in the hospital. What happened – did the dog food poison you?
The man replied, “No – I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant, and a car hit me”.
Costco won’t let him shop there anymore.
Hopefully one or more of these made you laugh or at least smile. , ,
Any thought or comments on these? Please share them below (or a funny story you’d like to share)
(Also – I did not write any of these and as far as I know these are in the public domain, if not please let me know)
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Rozella
Thank you Mike, I needed a good laugh, and to know the lighter side of you.
I must be in a room with the door closed and locked; because I don’t seem to know
what;s going on around me. laughter is the key that opens the door.
What’s Her Name ?
smiley
I’m glad you liked it! There’s definitely a “lighter side” to me 😉
As far as your question/riddle – I don’t know. What is Her Name?
Becky
I like Mike!! Dennis and I have some business to tend to later today!! See you Soon! God Bless You!!
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